Sexual Ethics in the Bible

Some time ago, I was part of a discussion on whether or not premarital sex was biblically forbidden. The discussion included me, a male friend of mine, and a girl I’d met just then. My friend said that he couldn’t recall an instance in the bible that supported her claim, which was that premarital sex was explicitly forbidden in the bible. I aided in supporting my friend’s counter claim, asking her to consider the biblical foundations, if any, supported her claim. She reached for a bible and stated it was in Genesis, but she couldn’t find it. We asked her to research it, and get back to us when she had found something. Today we will look at this topic from both sides.

I’m not typically one to dissect the bible verse by verse, but what I will do here is utilize some verses that the girl had found during her research and talk on them briefly. The citations will come from the NIV translation as with all subsequent posts, unless otherwise stated.

Jeremiah 29:6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. From a modern point of view this simply exhorts that marriage is a proper state for bearing children. Children are more likely to flourish in a stable family environment. Let’s look at another example.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Now note that it does not speak as to what is considered sexually immoral. It is my thinking that while adultery is a sexually impure act, since this was written to the Hebrew Christians, what was considered sexually immoral was common knowledge from the Judaic law. Let’s look at what that law says about the sexually immoral.

Let’s look at Exodus Chapter 22:1919 "Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death.” Now some things in Leviticus.

Leviticus 18

Unlawful Sexual Relations

1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'I am the LORD your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.

6 No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.

7 Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.

8 Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father.

9 Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.

10 Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you.

11 Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister.

12 Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.

13 Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative.

14 Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.

15 Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her.

16 Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother.

17 Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.

18 Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.

19 Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

20 Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her.

21 Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed ^[a] to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.

22 Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

23 Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.

24 Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. 26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. 28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.

29 Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. 30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the LORD your God. There are a lot of laws, some of which we ignore and deem perfectly irrelevant, but notice there is nothing here about premarital sex. All of these references would have been understood when speaking about sexual morality, as well as sexual relations with some of the peoples which the Israelites were forbidden to consult with. This was due to the fact that women from such cultures would have served as tools for sexual sacrifices to love and/or fertility gods/goddesses. The following verses also speak to that point.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

So with all these things that I have used to present a controversial view on a touchy subject within the Christian community, I have also presented references that are used against premarital sex. Some people have also said that when Jesus talked about lusting after someone being the same as adultery (Matt. 5:27-30), he also encompasses sex before marriage. What if he was saying that the biggest cause of cheating among spouses is lust, plainly and simply? Do I believe that’s the ONLY thing to it? No. I believe that Jesus knew of the corrupting power that lust can have over mankind. This notion is echoed here, and is probably the best reason to consider waiting for marriage, in 1 Peter 2:11 ”Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.”

It has also come to my attention that the verses I used in some cases spoke about homosexuality. This another hot button issue that has to do with sexuality. While the Bible takes an unambiguous stance on this, when preaching to people about this, I implore you to remember the following:

The Greatest Commandment (Mark 12:28-34)

28One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

29"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[e] 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'^[f] 31The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'^[g]There is no commandment greater than these."

32"Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. 33To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."

34When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.

We must be cautious that our love is more than what has become an all too generic “love and concern for the soul.” A message for my brothers sisters and contemporaries: If you find yourself filled with wild passion on these subject, it is best to bridle your tongue until they have been quenched, lest you lose sight of what you’re after. Remember Love above all. Until next time!

I encourage you to comment and discuss

--Rev